You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Randomize
