my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
