She announced her abortion via fbk
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
