He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
