I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
