Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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