I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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