No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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