Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
