I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
apparently the secret to your success is patron
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
send nudes
from the living room?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
