If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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