my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize