Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
