I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
