I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
