I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
