So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
