I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
