is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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