i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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