This girl is more easily done than said...
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
