Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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