Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
