just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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