some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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