I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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