I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
