Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
