I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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