what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
