from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
