My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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