white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
