i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
