She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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