Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
