For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
