I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
