ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
