If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize