Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I've blown a few things in my day
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
