Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
