We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
