I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
