At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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