I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
