i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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