....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
