Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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