I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
