I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
How does it feel to date your dad?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
