just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
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