i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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