he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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