i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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