I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
