I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
