i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
