it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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