The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Come see our sink grown plant.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
