Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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