so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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