I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
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